# corpspeak # ADJECTIVES # # for each adjective, type in: # # flags:adjective # # examples: # # an:awful # a:red # # 'flags' is a list of the following words, separated by commas: # - put 'a' if you can use the word like: 'a red ...' # - put 'an' if you can use the word like: 'an awful ...' # in some cases (e.g 'best', 'brightest'), you will have neither # BEGIN:adj :best :most sophisticated a:best-of-breed a:best-of-class a:six-sigma an:enabling an:extensible an:impactful a:bleeding-edge a:leading-edge a:cutting-edge a:lightweight a:mind-blowing a:proactive a:revolutionary a:standard a:task-driven a:task-oriented a:competitive a:compliant a:corporate a:customer an:emerging an:enabling an:enterprise an:established an:extensible a:first-class a:fiscal a:lightweight a:mind-blowing an:open-ended a:proactive a:productized a:quality-assured a:quality-oriented a:revolutionary a:solutions-oriented a:soup-to-nuts a:state-of-the-art a:strategic a:synergistic a:team a:team-building a:teamwork-oriented a:team-oriented a:value-added a:win-win a:world-class a:design-led a:design-driven a:legacy a:new-generation a:zero-defect-generation a:mobile a:ubiquitous # ADVERBS # # list adverbs, one per line # BEGIN:adv boldly bravely easily efficiently eventually inevitably probably rapidly swiftly effortlessly really fiscally # INTERJECTIONS # # list interjections, one per line # # these will be sporadically inserted into sentences # BEGIN:interj (according to the latest polls) (as seen on YouTube) (and by the way this is all on our website) (as you will hear at the next shareholder's meeting) (in a manner unique to our company) (obviously) (of course) (as explained in our annual report) —never before so advanced— # NOUNS # # for each noun, type in: # # flags:singular form:plural form # # examples: # # a,the:cat:cats # an,the:apple:apples # just:Google: # just:synergy: # the,just::gallows # # 'flags' is a list of the following words, separated by commas: # - put 'the' if you can use the word like: 'the cat' # - put 'a' if you can use the word like: 'a cat' # - put 'an' if you can use the word like: 'an apple' # - put 'just' if you can use the word by itself, e.g. 'synergy' # you must put at least one, and you can put more than one. # # 'singular form' is the noun in singular form. # leave it blank if there is no singular form, as in 'gallows' above. # # 'plural form' is the noun in plural form. # leave it blank if there is no plural form, as in 'Google' above. # as a shorthand, you can type just 's' for plural form if it's # made by just tacking an 's' on the singular form, as in: # # a,the:cat:s # an,the:apple:s # # here is how the flags apply to the plural form: # - if you put 'the', we assume you can use 'the cats' # - regardless of whether you put 'just', as assume you can use 'cats' # - of course you cannot use 'a' or 'an' with the plural form. # BEGIN:noun the,a:90% solution:s the,a:hit:s the,an:alliance:s the,a,just:benefit:s the:big picture: the,a:big win:s the,a:challenge:s just:closure: the,a:committee:s just:communication: the,a:constraint:s the,a:context:s the,a:core competency:core competencies the,a:big deal:s the,a:corporate titan:s the,a:corporation:s the,a:critical path:s the,a:culture change:s the,a:customer:s the,a:customer base:s just:customer focus: the,a:customer partnership:s the,a:dealer channel:s the,a:deliverable:s the,a,just:dialogue:s the,a,just:disclosure:s the,a:drop dead date:s just:each of you:all of you just:each and every one of you: just:empowerment: the,an:environment:s just:excellence: just:execution: the,an:executive:s the,an:executive advisory board:s the,just:feedback: the,just:focus: the,a:gating factor:s the,a:geography:geographies the,a,just:get-it-done attitude:s the,a:goal:s the,a:growth year:s the,a:guesstimate:s the,a,just:headcount readjustment:s the,a:horizontal market:s the,a,just:human resource allocation:s the,a:key player:s the,a:leadership position:s the:light at the end of the tunnel: the,a:major player:s the,a:merger:s just:mindshare: the,a:mission:s the,an:objective:s the,a:one-on-one: the,just:ongoing support for increased productivity: the,an,just:opportunity:opportunities the,just:ownership of vertical markets: the,a:paper trail: the,a:paradigm shift:s the,a:partnership:s the,a:price point:s the,a:product line:s the,just:progress: a:reality check: the,a:red flag:s the,a:relationship:s the,a,just:resolution:s the,just:revenue:s the,a:scenario:s the,a:schedule:s just:signage: the,a:skill set:s the,a:solution:s the,just:staffing: the,a,just:strategy:strategies the,a:sweet spot:s the,just:synergy:synergies the,a:tangent:s the,a:team:s the,a:team player:s the,just:teamwork: the,a:time frame:s the,a:transition phase:s the,a:workgroup:s the,a:writeoff:s just:operating capital: just:venture capital: a,the:guiding principle:s a,the:mission statement:s just:total quality management (TQM) # VERBS # # for each verb, type in: # # to <verb>:you <verb>:he <verbs>:flags # # examples: # # to agree:you agree:he agrees:intrans # to agree on:you agree on:he agrees on:trans # to eat:you eat:he eats:trans,intrans # to have:you have:he has:trans # :you will not:he will not:helping # :you are going to:he is going to:helping # # 'flags' is a list of the following words, separated by commas: # - put 'trans' if you can put an object after the verb like: # 'eat corn' or 'eat me' # - put 'intrans' if you can use the verb without an object, like: # 'eat' or 'grow' or 'increase' # - put 'helping' if you can use the verb as a helping verb, # meaning that you can put another verb after it, like: # 'are not' in 'you are not fishing' or # 'will' in 'you will eat' # you must put at least one, and you can put more than one. # # as a shorthand, you can leave the 'you <verb>' blank # if it is the same as the infinitive. # # as a shorthand, you can specify just 's' for the 'he <verb>' # form if it is the same as the 'you <verb>' form plus an 's' # in the first word, as in: # 'you eat' -> 'he eats' # 'you pick the best of' -> 'he picks the best of' # # for verbs that are only helping verbs, you can leave the # infinitive form blank, as it is ignored. # # we don't do past participles (except in sentences). # all verb negation must be in helping verbs (or sentences). # BEGIN:verb to be:you are:he is:trans to be:you are:he is:trans to be:you are:he is:trans to have:you have:he has:trans to have:you have:he has:trans to have:you have:he has:trans to have:you have:he has:trans to have:you have:he has:trans to have:you have:he has:trans to have:you have:he has:trans :you can:he can:helping :you can not:he can not:helping :you are going to:he is going to:helping :you are not going to:he is not going to:helping :you will:he will:helping :you will not:he will not:helping # can't do this, because of 'did not be' # :you did:he did:helping # :you did not:he did not:helping :you can hardly help but to:he can hardly help but to:helping to become::s:trans to evolve into::s:trans to agree to disagree::s:intrans to agree to disagree on::s:trans to attack the problem of::s:trans to bite the proverbial bullet::s:intrans to blow them away::s:intrans to blow them away with::s:trans to ride the wave of::s:trans to close the loop on the issue of::s:trans to continue to realize the benefits of::s:trans to create::s:trans,intrans to do the right thing about::he does the right thing about:trans to empower::s:trans to enable::s:trans to encapsulate::s:trans to engender::s:trans to enhance::s:trans to ensure::s:trans to establish an action item for::he establishes an action item for:trans to table an action item for::s:trans to get up to speed on::s:trans to get your input on::s:trans to give a clear channel towards::s:trans to give rise to::s:trans to grow::s:trans to help us in the concepting of::s:trans to impact::s:trans to improve the performance of::s:trans to interface with::s:trans to leverage::s:trans to make it happen::s:intrans to provide an indication of::s:trans to raise a flag over::s:trans to ramp up progress on::s:trans to sign off on::s:trans to sign up for::s:trans to step up to the challenge of::s:trans to sync up with::s:trans to take ownership of::s:trans to take the initiative::s:intrans to take the issue off-line::s:intrans to touch base on::he touches base on:trans to utilize::s:trans to work effectively::s:intrans to follow through on the issue of::s:trans to knock your socks off::s:intrans to pass the baton concerning::he passes the baton concerning:trans to ramp up progress on::s:trans to succeed::he will succeed:intrans to fast-track::s:trans # SENTENCES # # these are the templates for building sentences, one per line. # # each sentence can include these special tokens: # [cat=clause] full subject-verb(-object) clause # [cat=nphrase] noun phrase # [cat=nphrase,num=plural] plural noun phrase # [cat=nphrase,num=singular] singular noun phrase # plus you can use any part of speech above, the most useful being: # [cat=adj] # [cat=adv] # BEGIN:sentence [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause]. [cat=clause], so [cat=clause]. [cat=clause], so [cat=clause]. [cat=clause], so [cat=clause]. [cat=clause], so [cat=clause]. [cat=clause], so [cat=clause]. [cat=clause], which goes to show that [cat=clause]. [cat=clause], and [cat=clause]. [cat=clause], however [cat=clause]. [cat=clause], notwithstanding that [cat=clause]. [cat=clause], which leads us to believe that [cat=clause]. I think that [cat=clause]. as always, [cat=clause]. experienced business people all know that [cat=clause]. [cat=nphrase,num=singular]—which is [cat=adj]—is going to have to be [cat=adj] because [cat=clause]. let us not deceive ourselves into thinking that [cat=clause]. can we indeed say that [cat=clause]? surely, we can conclude that [cat=nphrase,num=singular] indicates that [cat=clause]. surely, we can conclude that [cat=nphrase,num=plural] indicate that [cat=clause]. in order to assure that [cat=clause], we must be certain that [cat=clause]. having first verified that [cat=clause], a careful examination of [cat=nphrase] reveals that [cat=clause]. if we can foresee the benefits of [cat=nphrase], then [cat=nphrase] will assure us [cat=nphrase]. we must put [cat=nphrase] in place so that [cat=clause]. we want to be nothing if not [cat=adj]. having [cat=nphrase,num=singular] that is [cat=adj], it follows that [cat=clause]. having [cat=nphrase,num=plural] that are [cat=adj], it follows that [cat=clause]. why do you think [cat=clause]? Because [cat=clause]. it used to be true that [cat=clause], however thanks to detailed marketing studies we have found that [cat=clause]. [cat=clause] and in view of the fact that [cat=clause] we clearly can conclude that [cat=clause]. we are all impressed to see that [cat=clause]. clearly we need to take the issue of [cat=nphrase] offline. a take-home lesson is that [cat=nphrase,num=singular] leads to [cat=nphrase]. leading indicators would seem to suggest that [cat=clause]. a major stretch goal for this fiscal quarter is [cat=nphrase]. we're making forward progress towards [cat=nphrase] by implementing [cat=nphrase,num=singular] that is both [cat=adj] and [cat=adj]. truly we must. we will [cat=adv] take the lead in [cat=nphrase], only to speed ahead of the pack in the [cat=adj] field of [cat=nphrase]. now what was I saying? in order to obtain [cat=nphrase], we took a close look at [cat=nphrase,num=singular] to understand what it means. in order to obtain [cat=nphrase], we took a close look at [cat=nphrase,num=plural] to understand what they mean. as a company, we have a firm grip on [cat=nphrase]. so, [cat=clause]. it's so clear that [cat=clause]. we are convinced that [cat=clause]. customers need [cat=nphrase], and we fulfill that need with [cat=nphrase]. we will [cat=adv] take over the [cat=adj] market for [cat=nphrase]. we have been looking into [cat=nphrase]. we are pleased to announce that [cat=clause]. thanks to the recent reorganization, [cat=clause]. we feel that [cat=nphrase] will enable [cat=nphrase]. we're going forward on [cat=nphrase]. we're on schedule for [cat=nphrase]. Testing "[cat=clause/cap]." as a leading analyst indicated in a recent report about [cat=nphrase], "[cat=clause/cap]." our vice president has even said that "[cat=clause/cap]." # # CODE # # This section is more advanced, so you may want to skip it # unless you like playing with JavaScript code. # # This section is what defines the overall HTML page layout, # with images, fonts, etc. It is JavaScript code that gets # eval()ed; the value of the last statement is used as # HTML and printed using document.write(). # # In the context where this code is eval()ed, there is a # variable 'x' of type xspeak, which can be used to request # nonsense words, paragraphs, sentences, etc. The most # useful function is x.gets(cat) where cat is one of the # tokens you see under "SENTENCES" above, like # "cat=nphrase" or "cat=sentence". # # There are also some utility functions available like # celt() and picker() which help in page creation. # # You can just follow the model or check out the source at: # # http://lurkertech.com/xspeak.js # # which is freely distributed under the terms of the GNU AGPL. # BEGIN:code var logos = new picker('numbered', "images/logos/%03d.jpg", 10); var figures = new picker('numbered', "images/figures/%03d.jpg", 21); var title = x.gets('cat=nphrase/capitalize'); celt('title', {}, 1, title) + celt('center', {}, 0, celt('table', { border: 0, cellpadding: 4, cellspacing: 4, width: 450 }, 0, celt('tr', { bgcolor: '#cccccc' }, 0, celt('td', { colspan: 2 }, 0, '&nbsp;')) + celt('tr', { valign: 'middle' }, 0, celt('td', { align: 'left', nowrap: undefined }, 0, celt('div', { style: 'font-family: impact, sans-serif; ' + 'font-size: 48pt' }, 1, 'TEAM RELEASE') + celt('div', { style: 'font-family: impact, sans-serif; ' + 'font-size: 24pt' }, 1, 'FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION')) + celt('td', { align: 'right' }, 0, selt('img', { src: logos.pick_one(), border: 0 }))) + celt('tr', { bgcolor: '#cccccc' }, 0, celt('td', { colspan: 2 }, 0, '&nbsp;')) + celt('tr', {}, 0, celt('td', { colspan: 2 }, 0, celt('div', { style: 'font-family: verdana, arial, sans-serif; ' + 'font-size: 8pt' }, 0, celt('h4', {}, 1, 'Re: ' + title) + celt('b', {}, 1, 'Grenadier House, London ' + '(MoJ Newswire, ' + new Date().toString() + '): ') + x.gets('cat=paragraph') + '<P>' + selt('img', { src: figures.pick_one(), border: 0, align: 'right', hspace: 8, vspace: 8 }) + x.gets('cat=paragraph') + '<P>' + x.gets('cat=paragraph') + '<P>' + celt('h4', {}, 1, x.gets('cat=nphrase/capitalize')) + selt('img', { src: figures.pick_one(), border: 0, align: 'left', hspace: 8, vspace: 8 }) + x.gets('cat=paragraph') + '<P>' + 'Contact: Leo Aspeaker, ' + 'Corporate Internal Communications Coordinator' + '')))));