Stargate SG1 - The Musical

The curtain draws back, stage lit, its twilight, looks like a desert.
We see a strange hatch in the centre of the stage and a sign in the distance, Nellis AFB - Keep Out!
The hatch buried in the sand opens, a man climbs out of it, he's wearing USAF military fatigues, his rank is Colonel, his name tag says O'Neill
He's carrying a thermos mug, he settles standing, opens his mug a takes a sip and starts to talk to himself while gazing into the starry sky.
"The ads say this is the best coffee on Earth, and it probably is, but guess what ... I've had better" Now he starts to sing ... 

<<
Abydos is a planet very far from here,
Abydos is the home of Jaffa I here,
On Abydos the Goa'uld rule today,
but Abydos longs to be free someday.

The Goa'uld have conquered every star system they've come across,
You can be sure even Jean Luc Picard would have lost.
>>
... etc