My Prose 01

A work in progress... Here is a collection of short prose and stuff by me, mostly from the 1990s or later except where stated.


Christmas Carols

The following is sung to the tune of Mistletoe and Wine...

.... beginning intro talking bit missing ....

Christmas time, Internet and wine,
bandwidth rising all of the time,
with e-shops for buying, delivering too,
moving goods for me and for you.

But will it de delivered, in the given timeframe,
if not my presents, then they have not yet came,
my relations will think, I have forgotten,
or that I am simply very rotten.

Christmas time, I am now online,
Internet shopping takes all my time,
I sit at my keyboard, I move around my mouse,
I click on an item, to bring it to my house.

silent mouse, wholly mouse

I hope they deliver, the really must deliver
if they don't deliver, I won't get my dinner,
presents are good, presents are fine,
delivered with ease, to you and to me.

Christmas time, Internet and wine,
bandwidth rising all of the time,
with e-shops for buying, delivering too,
moving goods for me and for you.

Christmas time, I am now online,
Internet shopping takes all my time,
I sit at my keyboard, I move around my mouse,
I click on an item, to bring it to my house.

... more to do ...

we sit at our keyboard, that's all that we do


The following is sung to the tune of Ding Dong Merrily on high...

Ding Dong DairyLea on Rye,
Hose and Bras are excelcious.


The following is sung to the tune of Good King Wenceslas...

Good King Burger once piged out,
on the feast he'd eaten.
Then he barfed it all about,
crisp and stink and even.


The following is sung to the tune of We Three Kings...

We three kings have stolen a car,
travelled far, don't know where we are,
trying to find Bournmouth junction,
following yonder car,
oohh, car of wonder, car with lights,
car with ABS alright,
we are stealling,
Police retreiving,
following from afar.


Other Stuff

Greek Poem - The Parachute

I made up this poem while on holiday in Cyprus when I was about 10 years old, so around 1974.

Greek version

μια φορά κι έναν καιρό
υπήρχε ένας αλεξίπτωτο
που έπεσε από αεροπλάνο
αλλά χωρίς τύχη
και με μεγάλη ταχύτητα
και με μεγάλη δύναμη
χτύπησε τη γη
κρίμα, έγινε κρέμα
o αλεξίπτωτο

Greek in English characters Version

mia forá ki énan kairó
ypírche énas alexíptoto
pou épese apó aeropláno
allá chorís týchi
kai me megáli tachýtita
kai me megáli dýnami
chtýpise ti gi
kríma, égine kréma
o alexíptoto

Fragment, Older versions, Gringlish

Mia fora gai na gero,
eghen alexiptedo,
bou epesen bou aroplano,
me bolin dahitdi,
kai xhtibisen bas stin yi me bolin 8inami.

Fragment, Greek in English characters Version

Mia fora kai na kero,
eghen alexiptedo,
ma thighos tiheri kai poli dahitiki
epesen bou to aroplano
kai bolin dahitidki
kai bolin thinami
e xhtibisen ti yi,
krima, e yhinigen krema
o alexiptedos.


Important Information

Methane farts are really good,
you can light a piece of wood.


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