Dear Employees:
It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.
Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
| Try Saying | Instead of | |
|---|---|---|
| I think you could do with more training. | You don't have a f***ing clue, do you? | |
| She's an aggressive go-getter. | She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch. | |
| Perhaps I can work late. | And when the f*** do you expect me to do this? | |
| I'm certain that isn't feasible. | F*** off a*se-hole. | |
| Really? | Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole. | |
| Perhaps you should check with... | Tell someone who gives a f***. | |
| I wasn't involved in the project. | Not my f***ing problem, mate. | |
| That's interesting. | What the f***? | |
| I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescales. | No f***ing chance mate. | |
| It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in. | Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday? | |
| He's not familiar with the issues. | He's got his head up his f***ing a*se. | |
| Excuse me, sir? | Oi, f*** face. | |
| Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway. | Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway. |